Most young girls my age are constantly running around searching for a boy to love them the way they want to be loved by a man. These girls are searching wholeheartedly for the comfort, shelter, and presence of a man to love them. I, a few years back, was not very different from these same girls. I wanted to be loved, too. I didn’t need to be loved for lack of a male presence in my life. I had a father. I just wanted something more. The very sight of a “good guy” with blue eyes I could fall right into set my heart and mind racing. I wanted to be adored by someone, just the way all the other girls were.
Over time, however, I began to grow, and around eighth grade, an immense change occurred in my life. I found the Man I had been searching for. He was gentle, patient, and kind. He was warmhearted, and He had a Father’s touch. He had all the love I wanted. He was everything I had prayed for manifested into a Being hardly within my capabilities of human understanding. I ran to Him daily. He always answered when I called. I never had to worry about being pretty or cute for Him—He said all that He wanted was my heart—and He meant it. He told me of His love for me, that He would do anything for me. In spite of all this, I still ran from Him. I didn’t believe a love like His could be real, but it was.
I thought I could go it alone, but time proved to me that this Man I loved so deeply was here to stay. I knew that without Him, I was nothing. With Him, I could conquer the world. In His arms, I saw the way love was meant to be.
As my Beloved and I grew closer, His love changed me. I no longer grew angry at things that made me angry before. I wanted to love others the way He loved me. I wanted to run after Him every day of my life and not look back. I knew this was the kind of forever not even the movies thought to mention. I came to Him with everything, and He told me to cast my cares upon Him, for He cared for me.
Today, my Beloved and I are deeply in love. I still have moments where I fall from His love, but His patience for me is everlasting, and He waits for me to come back when I roam far from Him. And I always do. No matter what, I can’t stay away. I have come far—far from my doubts, insecurities, and my wrongs. I am my Beloved’s, and my Beloved is mine. My Beloved’s name is Jesus, and the love He gave me saved me. It is because of all this that I can call Him “Abba Father.”
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