Entered on April 16, 2009
Age Group: 65+


I believe Shyness is the most confusing behavior I have ever faced in my life. In my former school, once in a while every student was called upon to present a story you knew. One day my teacher told the whole class that everyone was going to present a poem or story, that day, everybody gave a presentation and I gave mine but the one I told turned out to be my nick name. It was a funny story in my language about a barren woman.

I am going to say a little part of the story. There was a barren woman, who went to a magic priest for help and the priest collected her money without helping her. The woman narrated the story to me, so I said the story in class. She said that anytime she went to the magic priest he just played a joke on her. He told her to go around in the house, singing for her to dance. The song was “Kangugusaa!- paapranpa!! apaniapa!!! twee poom” this means, “Hello barren woman, come and dance, the gods are here to help you, run! run!! run!!! ….your baby is waiting for you”. This song became interesting to everybody; therefore, my classmates used to call me “Kangugusaa”. I started to feel bad in my life. Anytime they called me that, I told them my name is Stella not “Kangugusaa” but they continued to call me that.

At that time, we were having an inter–district story telling program in my school. They asked me to take part in the program, but I could not take part because I was too shy. Also, they told me to stand on behalf of the school and present poems; I knew I could do it, but because of my classmates, I was shy and I did not show up for the program. Everybody believed that I could represent the school, but I was already so embarrassed that I decided not to participate. However, I did not tell anyone the reason why I refused. Shyness never allowed me to do what I knew I could easily do. The teachers chose different students; those students won. Therefore, the government gave the winners free tickets to London. I might have had that opportunity to go to London, but because of shyness, I could not make it. Moreover, I applied for a scholarship, but because I had refused to involve myself in the program, they did not approve it for me.

Furthermore, I was a very good student, studying together with boys, those who were very brilliant. After this problem, whenever the boys called me to go and study or discuss an any question, I told them to go away because I decided not to go where there were more than two people. I thought that they were going to laugh at me. For a while, I felt bad when I entered the classroom. I usually said to myself, “I do not want to go to school anymore.” I knew my classmates were going to make fun of me. That feeling overcame me for about one and half years. That made me feel bad to speak or to ask questions whenever I went to class. It also made me afraid to speak in front of people. Also, I had prepared to go to an interview, which would help me to get an opportunity to enter School of Mines, but because of my shyness, I could not make it. I thought I would make mistakes so I declined to go to the interview. I would have finished college a long time ago. Any time I was scheduled to go to an interview I refused to go. My father was worried about my attitude, because he did not understand me.

Finally, he called me one day, and said, “I am very worried about your attitude now. Previously, I was proud of you, but now why…?” I explained everything to him. After my explanation, my father went to the school and told the teachers about my problem. The teachers called everybody in assembly and announced that if they noticed anyone calling me that name, the person would be penalized. That helped me to get my name back. This helped me to overcome the shyness, fear, and being afraid of talking in front of people.