I had the best Christmas of my entire life last December, a family that I didn’t belong to opened up their home and their hearts to me. An entire church community reached out with loving strength and made the most difficult phone call one could make, so I could be safe. I received so much, from so many, that I have to have faith in humanity.
Leaving home was the most frightening experience I’ve ever had. I couldn’t stop shaking with anxiety, dreading what would happen if I had to return, and mind blown at the possibilities of what my life could now be. I grew up with fear, fear of a father I’ve never met, fear of a step-father who terrorized his wife, and fear of a hurting, confused mother lashing out at the only person there, listening. While my safety is now secured, my future is now in the trembling hands of an over-experienced, seventeen year old. I am still haunted by nightmares and clinging, habitual paranoia, but I can’t help but hold onto my pathetically intact, faith in people. Despite all the people who hurt me, I have to have faith. I know misery, but I know happiness. I know love. Such love I’ve learned from people. It’s people who can bring you eternal happiness. It’s the group of friends who buy you a cup of coffee at 3 a.m. because you can’t sleep, it’s the helping hand a church youth group extends so you aren’t alone, and it’s the welcoming arms of a willing family, giving you an honorary role in their daily lives so you can graduate from high school with a roof over your head. They have faith in me, and I now know I can make something of myself. I have to make something of myself. A little bit of faith, their faith, has given me security, love, self esteem, and a future I now control. Now I realize, maybe the reason why I’ve been so blessed, is so I can instill some faith in the person whose hurt me the most, my mother.
If all of this can happen for one person, God knows what faith in multitudes can do. Through all our drug cartels, failing economies, hatred, and wars inflicting the world, therein lays an immeasurable vastness of potential. For that, I have to believe in humanity. It’s capacity of love, and it’s capability of goodwill, peace, and happiness. This I believe, I believe in humanity.
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