The resiliency of our children
Yesterday I read a sign that said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” In the cataclysmic society of today, it’s easier to miss the smaller things. Even more often, we miss the smaller people. I watch the evening news and there’s always at least one story about the maiming, raping or murder of a child. When I do research on the countries of the world, one of the things that always sticks out for me is the eyes of the little boy who’s family was murdered. It pains me, the mannerisms of the little girl who was just raped outside her village. When I listen to the heart wrenching stories of the parents, I realize that these are the very same children that my parents watched. These men and women have become the future that the world deemed them to be. Children do grow up to become the future. What choice do they have? If all of the children die right now, the planet will become extinct of human beings in just a few decades. Because that has not happened they have grown into the unfeeling adults that plague the planet like secret but virulent entities. They prey on the children that they once were. They steal the unprotected innocence that they cannot replace. Since children are the future that means that they are preying on the future.
A child is born. He or she has no beliefs. The child has no prejudice. Those things are taught at home. In the environment that the child is raised they accept as normal. This is the reason why one child can become immune to physical and emotional abuse, while another will cringe at the slightest attempt to punish the tiniest infraction. A young boy I know recently acquired several burns. However, when with his father he says, “I don’t got a burn.” When asked to see the burn. When with his mother he says, “I jumped off the couch.” From observing his behavior you can tell that he has been coached by his mother. The boy is adamant in the presence of his mother. I have a friend with two beautiful daughters. They are one and three-months. Their mother has no desire to care for them tenderly. Nor does she have the means. The mother will allow her children to sit in a soiled diaper for hours. One day I was at their household and I yelled to my friend to bring me a paper towel. When I looked at the one year old I noticed she was covering her ears. She has learned already in the first year of life to block out the yelling. How sad.
From these experiences among others I have learned to believe in the resilience of children. Children learn to adapt to their situation in order to survive. Children do not care about the size of a house. Children only care that the rain is kept off of their heads. Children do not care about filet mignon. Children only care that they eat. Children need the basic necessities. They are untainted by the stereotypes and the media preference. Children are united in their inexperience of the adult world. This makes them the perfect protégé. Children learn what they are taught. And they sustain the absolute most they can bare. This is the reason the news cast about an abused child is so gruesome when it finally does come into light. Children are also forgiving, and I truly think all knowing. Honesty is hesitant to escape the lips of an adult, but never leaves the corridor of a Childs soul. You can teach a child to love or to hate. You can teach them to be strong or to kneel before the strong. And he will learn it. The complaints from that child will be at a minimum, if at all. The physical condition of a child is very fragile. But the extreme resolve to live and be alive is stronger than any metal, brick or steel you can ever find.
It is by choice and by sheer respect for this resilience in our children that I do not have any children. I am loathing thinking that the job of parenting comes with great ease. I do however know that it takes a village to raise a child. I know that some people do not think you should be involved with anyone else’s children’s lives. But I said this once before and I’ll say it again. Children are the future. By taking care of our children, making sure that the things that they adapt to are not detrimental, treating them with kindness love and respect, we can nourish our future.
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