Personal Sanctuaries

Mark - Rexburg, Idaho
Entered on April 8, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30

I believe in finding a personal space in which I can be alone and collect my thoughts. I have strived to find my own personal sanctuary since I was a kid. I believe in bathrooms as being a place of personal sanctuary. I have believed in bathrooms being personal sanctuaries since I was a teenager. I love the silence that comes to my mind when I shut and lock the door of that private room. I love how the noise of the fan drowns out all the distractions of the outside world and allows me to contemplate the different trials in my life.

Before the bathroom became my personal Sanctuary, I turned to my bedroom as a place of retreat. I was a young teenager, filled with drama and arrogance like most teenagers. Because of that, I had friends and family members I sometimes fought with. So I would turn to my room and try to find peace in my mind. This, of course, didn’t always work. My family had a rule, “Don’t lock the doors!” This rule would keep me from being, or feeling, truly alone. This was mainly due to the fact that about 20 minutes after a disagreement with my parents, they would come in and apologize for their part in the argument. I did want to apologize, but felt as if I needed more time to figure out for myself what caused the argument in the first place. The feeling of unresolved tension caused me to feel as if I would never truly learn how to avoid these arguments. I started to grow more and more rebellious as I couldn’t find that happiness that I needed. It felt as if the problems would never be resolved that way. I couldn’t feel that the common ground we reached was impacting my life the way it should have.

That was when I turned to the bathroom. This room was, of course, exempt from the “no locking doors” rule. So I found myself going there after a fight to resolve my issues. All of my arguments could be drowned there easily in peace and quiet. All of the tough questions and confusions which lead to tension faded away. I could think. I could pace. I could read, write, and relax like I could nowhere else. I began to turn there for my own personal studies. The peace I found there helped me strengthen my relationships with my family. Having that time to myself helped me find the common ground I was searching for and allowed me to emerge and face my parents with confidence.

The peace I found in the bathroom helped me appreciate it as a true sanctuary. I learned to turn to that sanctuary when I am down, stressed, or angry and learned to use its seclusion to come back stronger. I believe in the personal sanctuary of the bathroom as it has changed my way of thinking, and finding inner peace.