My parents got divorced when I was five months old; the agreement was my mother watched me during the week and my father got weekends. Ever since I was about seven, my mother would leave me home alone at night while she went out to party with friends. I was an only child, so while she was gone I would take care of myself. Mostly, I enjoyed watching movies. I was mainly a fan of Disney. Everything about them made my eyes light up. The idea of having another reality placed in front of me let me leave my own. Peter Pan was my favorite. To escape and take myself to a new place of adventure was astonishing. How I wished Neverland truly existed. I didn’t realize it back then, but I can see now how these movies shaped who I am today.
It was scary being alone late at night. The noise of wind pounding on windows, a dog’s bark echoing through my creaky house never escaped my imagination. Right after my mother would leave I would grab a blanket to curl up with on the couch, pick a movie to watch, and turn the volume up fairly loud so the sounds of outside wouldn’t disturb me. As I got older, my mother’s routine never changed. At fourteen, I still watched movies and turned up the volume. How frustrating it was to try and communicate with my mother when I became angry with her; my only solution seemed to be my movies. They were my only escape compared to the mother I didn’t know.
Today, I am nineteen. Being older I have learned to talk with others for help through other experiences I’ve had. To release stress, I still watch movies but view them differently than when I was younger. I try and depict the problems the characters experience and see how they handle situations. They give me advice about hanging on when not thinking I could, or making the most out of what I had. This helps me see my childhood as a great strength in my life. Even though my mother raised me considerably wrong, we have grown closer today because of it. We now talk about our problems when the time comes. Our relationship is constantly growing positively.
I know my mother wants to help me in my life. She may never know the impact movies have had on me, but I know the positive aspect they have. Movies have helped me grow closer to my mother knowing she wants to be there. She is one of the greatest movies I can look to because of her significant example in her unique qualities. Ironically, one of our favorite things to do together is watch movies. The most recent was, “What Happens in Vegas.” We both loved it.
I believe in movies; they have helped me grow and affected me in ways different than most. They aren’t just an entertainment. They will always be my Neverland.
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