Nothing and Everything

Christopher - Palmer, Alaska
Entered on April 2, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: question

I have been instructed by my teacher that this essay is supposed to be ‘all about me’ and about no one else, but the problem with those instructions is that nothing in my life is all about me. As much as I could describe my life experiences that have led me to believe or disbelieve all the things that I do, I have come to believe that it isn’t those experiences themselves that have made me who I am. I can say I have had an upbringing not like most, raising myself, growing up faster than many of my own generation, and having to understand that which a child or young person should not have to. However, it is these understandings and actions that I have had to go through that have raised me to be who I am. I would agree that life is not fair and indeed believe whole heartedly that it isn’t.

I have lived the life of a child with divorced parents, nonexistent and dysfunctional family, but what separates me from most others is how I reacted to all my misfortunes. My mother forced me to grow up and live under her thumb. I didn’t really know the word freedom until I was a teenager. Unlike some other people, there are no specific things in my life that make me believe what I do; it is the accumulation of all my life’s events that have formed the basis of my beliefs. In so many ways you can say that my life is general.

I’m not really sure if there are things that I believe, since I’ve stood so firmly the past few years saying that I believe in nothing. Rather than believe, I think that there are things I know and think. Reality is what I have come to see¬¬¬—no, reality is just what I have always seen. I don’t believe in anything because a belief is not certain, not firm or stable and is bound to change. Everything is bound to change, yes; however, I ground myself into the things that are concrete. I suppose the whole idea that I am presenting here is that I believe in nothing. There are no life events to tell, just the simple way of saying that it is my reactions to all the situations that are presented to me is what makes me who I am really am. And it is, as I write this essay, that makes me think even further that I don’t believe in anything, rather to think logically and reasonably through everything.