O.K., you are who you are. A person. When you get down to it that is all you are, but you can also be so much more. Just like the next person you see. They are just like you, with problems, concerns, and goals in life. The person is also very unlike you. They have a different family, grew up in a different environment than you, and they don’t have the same ambitions that you have. We are all different but so much the same.
I have always found myself judging. It is a natural human behavior to compare yourself to someone else and I normally did this. Growing up little a town of 2,000 white republican farmers has not exactly let me experience the diversity of the world. I was used to my culture, which basically was everyone else’s, and my views evolved around how competitive I was to be the best in my 600 populous high school. I know I didn’t want to stay in the in the boondocks forever and a college education was vital. In order to get into a good college you have to be good in high school and I wanted to be the best. I had friends but I always seemed to find their faults. If I knew what they were doing wrong then I would be able to make sure those faults were not in myself. Then I would take these faults and categorize people based on what I knew. And I use the term “what I knew” loosely. I knew nothing about these people and why they were the way they were. I had judged them and made their flaws their only distinguishing feature.
Once I got to college I knew I had to change, I knew this because the way I was thinking was wrong. Once I realized that people could help contribute to my life in a positive way I let down my defenses. I’m O.K. with being second, third, or even dead last. I don’t so much about the end result, but how I got their. Was I the genuinely nice person I tried to be, or was I pompous and arrogant idiot that only cared about being the best. I hope that I can stick with the first one and only grow that side of me with more and more vigor because its O.K. if you have faults, I know I sure do.
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