I believe in heart episodes. I believe that having these innocuous heart phenomenas have made me accept and understand my ever looming morality. These heart murmurs have also brought me closer to God and given me a sense of meaning to my life.
I remember when I had my first heart episode I was seven years old. I was playing on the playground during recess and an older girl named jenny started bullying me so being the ornery first grader I was I initiated a fight with her by pulling on her neon orange ponytail. After a few seconds of our elementary brawl, Jenny somehow got hold of my foot and took off one of my penny loafers and started hitting it with me. I don’t know if it was the shock of someone I barley knew taking off an article of my clothing or just nature taking its natural course but I got a massive heart episode. Not knowing what was going on in my body, I quit fighting and started screaming for a teacher. By then a fairly large cluster of children had been around us to watch our amateur wrestling match therefore the teachers were on alert and came very quickly. When they saw me sprawled out on the floor breathing raggedly with a red face and a bedraggled appearance they carried me to the nurse. The nurse called an ambulance and they were able to stop my heart episode, that was my first time being on an ambulance therefore, I believe in ambulances too. At the hospital they didn’t know what was wrong with me and they sent me home.
I’ve been having heart episodes almost every month now since that first one on that playground in first grade. I also know what’s wrong with me now; I have a heart murmur, which is just a simple mutation in the heart and even though I have this mutation in my heart I still try to live a normal life. I still play sports, ride my bikes, and every once in a while I’ll get in a little adolescent brawl (time doesn’t change everything) but I believe that through this obstacle I learned how to truly live and understand how fleeting and fragile life is.
I remember one day last week I was thinking about life and how I could easily die during one of my episodes while making some blueberry pancakes. While thinking, about it one of my pancakes broke when I flipped it over and I reached an apifany, life is as fragile as a pancake and when ever you flip it over (do something new) you are in danger of breaking. However, if you do not flip, you yourself over you will be raw on one side and burnt on the other. I believe in pancake flipping, heart episodes, golf, ambulances, novels, heaven, and a little innocent brawl every now and then.
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