Ode to Duct Tape and Superglue

Elijah - Ennis, Montana
Entered on March 31, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30

In a world ruled by broken things and those people who won’t stop talking, two heroes stand alone fighting side by side in an effort to mend this broken world. Duct tape works for equality and cohesiveness between humans and objects alike. Tagging along as the annoying but powerful sidekick is superglue with the amazing ability to stick anything and everything in the world to your fingers. Woe to a world without them!

Everything made by humans can be taken apart or broken for various reasons. All these things can either be fixed or put back together with the help of duct tape or superglue. Since this obviously inseparable pair has come into my life, I have hardly ventured out into this cruel and horrible world without them by my side. When I go backpacking or hunting, I always have a roll of duct tape tied to the outside of my pack and superglue in my medical kit. When I was young, I was amazed at the stickiness of duct tape and at the strength it possessed in bringing a watertight seal to my fleet of floating things. As my inventions progressed, and I began to enter the, “terror”, stages of life, I quickly succumbed to the belief that duct tape was capable of fixing EVERYTHING! Sometime during this stage I discovered superglue. To my surprise, and excitement, I became one with everything that had super glue on it in a matter of seconds

Because I love my heroes so much I have created three rules governing the use of them. 1) When using duct tape the user must always open their minds to everything except the presence of the tape. This is so that one’s imagination can begin to FREAK OUT and the tape can work wonders through the vassal. 2) There is quite simply no such thing as conserving or rationing the amounts of duct tape and superglue you use. 3) Super glue is not to be inhaled or eaten!

When the end of the world comes to the world, I really don’t think anyone will be able to debate the fact that a simple lowly four inch long piece of duct tape lain across the antichrists mouth would solve any chance of death and destruction brought upon the world. It is my intention when my time comes, to cover my casket in an inch layer of super glue and cover that in duct tape to test their ability of preservation, thus proving that it’s impossible to live, or die, without duct tape and superglue.