To Believe and Beliefs

Clara - Great Neck, New York
Entered on March 30, 2009

I believe in everything and in nothing since everything has its good side and a bad side. There are many things I have faith in. Some are common knowledge for everybody. But some of the things I believe in are particular to me.

Last year I was in a terrible accident and I had about 5 severe fractures on my leg and on my pelvis. I laid on my back for months without being able to move but during the time I always believed I will be able to run and play again like before, like it never happened. I think this is what led me to heal faster. I ended up doing this when I made the mistake of chasing after my dog when he ran away when I was explicitly told not to. I guess I did do it because I loved my dog and I was afraid that something bad was going to happen to him. I felt that his faith was in my hands. I eventually did find my dog; and since he is a Labrador retriever and huge he pulled me into the street. A range-rover drove by slamming into me. My dog was okay and I recovered after 3 months. During that time I might have faced a lot of pain but I learned a lot of things. I knew that my accident was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made but in also gave me a lot of time to think. I spent time examining my life as if it was under a microscope.

Even though I couldn’t move my upper body for a very long time I was still confident that I would be able to walk soon. I knew my parents were worried that I would limp and they probably still are but I would say things like “Don’t worry I’ll be good in no time!” The week after my accident, we were supposed to go on a school trip to Ashokan, a place where we would stay overnight and learn about the outdoors. I had been excited for awhile and I really wanted to go. I remember a night in the hospital when I kept asking over and over if I would be able to go. Of course they kept avoiding the subject with really annoyed me. I’ve always thought that what happened to me was part of the experiences that I will face through out my life. Taking it like a life experience was part of the healing process.

I believe in mistakes. Without making them we will never learn. Mistakes are good when they are steps in search of the truth. That success leads to inner peace.

I believe in confidence. Without confidence we wouldn’t be able to go through life. Of course we might choose the wrong object for our confidence. But still we would need to go forward since confidence makes us happy with ourselves.

I believe in hopes and dreams. I think ahead and I have ambitions for the future. Without those hopes I will have no reason to live. We would live life without knowing who we are! If we are lucky we will reach our hopes and dreams.

I think that loyalty is a very important thing in a person’s life. We need to depend on others in order to finally depend on ourselves. For that confidence is important. We need to be loyal to ourselves so that we can do what we intend to do in life.

Everyone believes in peace. But what is peace? Is it even possible to have world peace? People will always disagree on things because they all have different opinions on them. We don’t live in a society where we are dictated what to do. I believe that what peace is; is the peace of the mind or the way we come in harmony with ourselves. It is hard to be completely happy with ourselves because we all make mistakes.

When I was confined in bed, I had the leisure to look through my father’s painting albums. Suddenly colors began to have a new meaning for me. We take colors for granted but I truly believe in them! Being able to see the world in colors gives it a special meaning. Colors have the ability to heal and the energy around us is colorful. Their symbols are so powerful that the true understanding of them gives us the various perspectives of life.