The Pain That Helps Me Hold On

Ivan - Los Angeles, California
Entered on March 30, 2009

I believe I can achieve everything that want to achieve and I believe I will achieve everything I want to achieve. Since I was little I always believed that you have to believe in yourself first before you can believe in achieving something greater. Believing in yourself can keep you going when you feel like giving up. I know this first hand because at one point in my life I felt like giving up on myself, but through my hard times I kept believing that I myself could push through it and stay strong.

Ever since I was little I have always had problems with my family, like any other family, but mine had to do with many things such as; drugs, gangs, financial issues, and domestic violence. I never knew my dad he got arrested six months before I was born. So my mom had to raise my brothers and me by herself. Growing up in these conditions made me realize that that wasn’t something I wanted when I had a family of my own. I believe this is what kept me going in my childhood.

But soon, my dreams where short-lived when I got separated from my family at the age of 16. Given the circumstances that I was put up against made me want to give up on myself. I felt like I had nobody in the world but myself was the most devastating feeling in the world. During these rough times I was going through, I found comfort in books. I started reading a book called A Child Called It, reading this book made me realize a lot about life and myself and life. I realized that life isn’t pretty and it isn’t fair but you get what you make of it. Soon after, I started getting my life back on track. My grades started to improve and for the first time I found myself saving money and not spending it on things I didn’t need. Till this day I can’t believe that something so horrible made me realize so many good things in life.

Through everything I’ve been through, I could only help but be proud of myself for believing. Believing that I can show everyone that I will be a success in life. Believing that one day I will have a family of my own. Believing that I whatever life throws at me I will overcome it and most of believing that I can and I will.