Always There

Amanda - Falls Creek, Pennsylvania
Entered on March 25, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family

Always There

My mom and I have had our occasional differences, some leading into greater fights than anticipated. Throughout each dispute, I realized that what happened between us was ultimately because of her. She cared for me and about me, and didn’t need to show it through her love. Every time I was in trouble, it was because of mistakes that I’ve made, but no matter how much I disappointed her, she was still there. This is why I believe that as things in my life change, my mom will always be there for me.

I am now seventeen, and will be turning eighteen pretty abruptly. I have been accepted to college, after previously filling out applications, sending in deposits for dorm rooms, and even a few scholarships, all with the help of my mom. I have been involved in numerous activities both in and out of school; plays, sleepovers with friends, cheerleading practices, football games, school events, and even work. Each of these required my mom to drive me to and from these places, at least three or four times a week.

I’ve never truly realized how much my mom has done for me, until these past few years. Family friends have always told her raising a teenager is the hardest, and I think I proved that statement true. I was never a rebel child who had multiple piercings or tattoos, or who partied late at night. I was the first teenager my parents raised; I was the guinea pig for everything. Since I was the oldest, I made all the mistakes first, and sometimes repeated them when I knew I shouldn’t have. I disappointed my parents way too much, but every time I would say I was sorry and take the punishment I deserved. As much as I would apologize, I don’t think they ever truly believed me. After all my mom has done for me in the past, I still ended up letting her down. I would become frustrated with her and we would argue at the little things I did, which eventually led into bigger arguments. Fortunately, our differences would soon be settled in a few short days.

That’s the relationship my mom and I have. My actions get me in trouble, and we end up fighting about it. Now as I try to start my life on my own and become more independent, I’m realizing two things. One, my mom’s “strictness” is for a reason. As much as I hate the rules she makes, like the ones that some friends don’t even have to obey, I understand that she makes the rules because she cares. She is trying to protect me and be there for me, even as I try and push her away because I think too highly of becoming independent. And two, when I need somebody to talk to she’s always there. When I can’t turn to friends in school, I know I can go home and talk to her. She’s the shoulder I can always cry on when the going gets tough.

Although my mom and I have our differences, I want her to know I love her. I want her to know that through all her patience and forgiveness that she offers me, that I am appreciative of all she has done for me. I want my mom to know that as much attitude, eye rolling, and sarcastic comments I make to her, she’s the one I want to be like. I also want her to know that although I am attending a college sixty six miles away, I will always need her, so she should anticipate those late night calls! As I continue growing up, I want her to know that I want to be the strong, successful, and beautiful woman she is. That’s why I believe that there will never be anyone so amazing like my mom.