The Little Things

Tracie - Saraland, Alabama
Entered on March 25, 2009

The Little Things

Good Morning! (Yawning) “Good morning everybody,” (Getting out bed), “want coffee? Slipping on my house shoes, I’m thinking about the many things I have to do today. Making my way to the coffee pot, I continue to ponder. Gizmo telling me in his own sweet way, barking, I need to go outside to do my job. I open the door, and off he goes. Such energy and vigorousness, he jumps and runs, oh how I wish I had half of his energy and endurance. With the smell of coffee brewing, slowly and with much pain I kneel. Good Morning God, thank you for waking me up this morning. Thank you for another day of mobility, strength and being able to indulge in the little things.

Often curious, I wonder what life would be like to be normal. Normal meaning: the ability to get out of bed without pain, jogging around the park, Gizmo at my side. Never having to take pills to get through the day. Never taking shots, oh yeah, shots, three times a week in the belly, it hurts just to think about it. Stretching and having someone pull me limbs. Drinking and taking all the supplements. Maybe, I am secretly wishing for some kind of miracle to happen.

How I love the sunlight. I wish I could enjoy the sunlight, instead of running from it. God! What I wouldn’t do, just to fish in the sun, lay out on the beach, or the park, and ride a bike, yeah I said it – ride a bike. Ride in the day-light , without worrying about the exposure to the sun and what it will do to my eyesight, my ability to walk or the pain it will cause every muscle in body. Who has to think of such things, let alone worry about them? Just shut up. Shut Up! Continue to watch the neighbor gardening this spring and summer while you’re in doors hiding. Look! There in the swimming pool, all wet, happy and tanning. Keep watching. At least you can see. Well I guess that’s true, at least I can see. Anybody else want coffee? Silence is what I’m hearing in the background. Screaming for the daughter to come downstairs to share a moment, eventually noticing there’s no answer, but a note on the refrigerator. Good-morning, Love you, left early to go to beach, with some friends, see you soon.

Living life with a disease is one thing, but to live with one that’s silent and unpredictable is another. Everyday you wake up not knowing what to expect. What is it up to now? Will I survive it? Will it get angry today and it make me stop with no motion or will it be good and let me enjoy the little things. I pray everyday just to be able to enjoy the little things. Watching TV and eating ice cream. How trivial of me. But, it’s true. We all should step back a moment and be grateful for the little things. To some they’re not so little at all.