After nineteen years on this earth I have finally come to terms with it. Life does not often turn out as planned. Life is a roller coaster and we are not the operator, but just a passenger along for the ride. It’s how we react to the ride that determines what will become of us. Too often in my life I’ve worried about things out of my control. Does this girl like me, will I get a good grade on the test, or will I get the job? In reality all of that worry is a waste of time. I have no control on those things and obsessing over their outcome just leads to more stress.
I am a huge music fan. I try to get into the music and find its meaning, see what speaks to me. A few years ago I was listening to Sly and the Family Stone’s “Que Sera”. Sly sings, “Que Sera, sera, whatever will be will be,” in a strong, almost gospel voice. The first time I heard the tune I had no particular reaction to it. Sure it was a catchy melody and a nice tune, but it didn’t seem to hold a lot of substance. Then I began to really listen. The song talks about a little girl asking her mother, will I be pretty, will I be rich? Their mother replies, Que Sera, meaning, whatever will be, will be. The future is not ours to see. I never heard truer words than that.
Last December I was due to go to a Patriots football game with my Dad. I was so excited and when he came home I was ready to run into the car immediately. Instead of joining me in my excitement though, my father solemnly walked over to my mom, hugged her, and said to me, “Ian, your mom has breast cancer. I won’t be able to go to the game with you, but I want you still to go.” After getting over the shock of that statement and hugging my mom I said there was no way I would still go to the game. I wanted to be there for my mom. My Dad looked at me and told me I had to go. He explained that we never really know how much time we have left on this earth. We never know if tomorrow might be our last day. All I can do is live each and every day to its fullest, knowing that whatever lies ahead of me will come eventually, but the present is a far more important place to rest my head in.
I’ve thought a lot about what my Father told me that day. About how life is a moaze, a hive of ups and downs, highs and lows. I can never truly know what is going to lie on the road ahead of me each day when I wake up, and I know I’m better off for that. I will live in the present, enjoy every second I can, and say que sera to my future. Whatever will be, will be, and knowing that brings me peace.
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