Love is All that Matters

Deborah - Richmond, Virginia
Entered on March 18, 2009
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: family, love

Love is All That Matters

I believe that love is all that matters; the love I have to share in my heart. In April, 2006, my brother was diagnosed with malignant cancer. I cried. I prayed. I made sure I told him I loved him. I felt helpless, powerless and out of control. I called him and said, “I love you and I’m sorry that you have to go through this.” His response was, “I know you do, and pray.” That was all I could do. I asked my friends and family to pray. I believe that because of love shared between our friends and family that he lived two years longer than expected.

We held onto hope, that was all that we had, love and hope for life and freedom from cancer. In 2008, when his cancer spread, I left my life and lived with him during his final four weeks on earth. All I offered was love and compassion. Within me, was the strength of a Power greater than myself and love from friends. We laughed and cried together.

One morning, he was infuriated that he could no longer do the things he used to do. My brother was an athlete and now had to use a walker. He yelled and pounded kitchen cabinets. I observed, while holding back tears. I remembered nothing matters but the love we share. A few seconds later, he cried and apologized. We hugged like we never had before. I cried. I told him that nothing matters except love and that I had compassion for him. During breakfast, he said, “Yes, who would have thought at age 46 that this would be happening.” We held onto each other, he shared, “You are the best, Deb, and don’t let anybody ever tell you anything different.” It was a gift to receive this from my brother, my only sibling and last living immediate family member.

Yes, nothing matters except love I share. During those weeks, I felt unconditional love. Nothing matters, neither material possessions nor accomplishments. When I give love I have in my heart, everything flows. It was, indeed, my brother’s final gift to share time with him during his last four weeks of living and loving. We prayed every morning and hugged each other, a major change considering that we did not come from a family where love was freely given. From this experience, I received so much more than I gave. I believe that love is all that matters and it is up to me to enjoy every precious moment of life. My brother passed away on December 7, 2008. He was surrounded by many loving friends and family.