Strong Love

Lauren - Ft. Dix, New Jersey
Entered on March 18, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, illness, love

When was the last time you thought about who loves you? Well I think about who loves me every time I look at my mom. She is battling terminal cancer and is still alive. She would not be alive if she wasn’t going through chemo therapy and radiation. She would die without the treatment, so really she is going through all the pain just for her children. In my eyes that is strong love.

My mom’s name is Tanaya. She is a really loving and caring person. If I have an issue I have no problem going to her. She might not always take my side, but in the end I learn my lesson. She loves her four children very much: Dominique (17), Courtney (15), Kayla (11) and me (13). She also has custody of her god child My’Kaella (8). She is really crazy. She doesn’t sugar coat anything. She tells me when my hair looks messed up, and I think I look really nice. I love her a lot.

She is very good at heart. If I had children I would not want to go through the pain for them. She is a good role model; I look up to her. It is very strong love for her to throw up every little thing she eats for us. Especially when I am deathly afraid of throwing up, I cry and scream when I hear it or see it. She really doesn’t think about herself; she thinks about others. She thinks about how we would live or be without her. She thinks about how her mother and father and sisters will react if she dies. She shows very strong love toward others.

I love her very much. She is my life. If she dies I will not be able to lift my head up in the morning. I won’t be able to think straight. I won’t be able to function. Practically I won’t be able to live. My dad isn’t really there for me so she is all I have. I wouldn’t have my personality. I would die inside and out.

I have to take into consideration that when she dies I have to be able to support myself. My dad wouldn’t really care about me. My grandma is too old along with my grandpa. So when she dies I guess I will have to have enough money saved up for my life. She always bugs me about my grades and how I need to graduate and get a scholarship. I finally understand why I need to do that.

I picture myself everyday looking at her and seeing her bald shiny head. I love how it sparkles in the sun. I picture me sitting next to her coffin just crying my eyes out. I could never say goodbye to her. Her cancer is so rare that day is going to come soon; the doctors say 6 months. I cry every time I think about it. How would you feel about your mom or your close loved one dying? Could you function?

My mother shows some strong love towards every loved one. “The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.” I feel this quote explains my mother very well. Strong love.