I threw my Bible straight at the floor with as much force as I could, I was angry. But, the page that it landed on held a scripture that changed me forever.
My family goes to church every Sunday, but I despised this fact. Put simply, church bored me. Sure, I believed in God, because my family made me, but I never understood why. My mom would lift her hands up and close her eyes at church, in prayer, while I sat in the pews, doodling on whatever I could find. I’m sure God didn’t care. But, one day, when I really needed him, he spoke to me, and changed my life. This was when I really found God, but I didn’t know this yet.
I fell in love back in seventh grade, or so I thought, with the first guy that told me he loved me. It felt good to be loved, because my parents never say it to me. They forget. But, my boyfriend, on the other hand, was perfect. He was someone that country singers everywhere sing about. I could have sworn that I was truly in love, so I trusted him with my heart. Big mistake, because he broke it on the last day of school, seventh grade, and I was lost.
I cried for a while, and ate carton after carton of Chunky Monkey ice cream. I felt like life had no meaning anymore. I felt forgotten and unloved. Then, I had to go to the dreaded church on Sunday.
Sitting in church, my pastor preached about love, but I did not want to hear it. Not at a time like this. So, when I got home I threw my Bible on the floor and left it there. Later that night, I walked back in my room, and out of curiosity I read a random scripture: “Guard your heart above all else, for the source of your life flows from it”. It was Proverbs 4:23 (the only scripture that, to this day, I can remember). I was confused, but interested. It must be just a coincidence that my boyfriend would dump me, my pastor would preach about love, and that I would find this scripture all in a few days. God doesn’t know me well enough to throw all these things in my life at once. That is what I remember thinking to myself, but knowing deep down that it was a lie.
This scripture hit me hard and made me understand why it had hurt so badly when my “love” dumped me. I hadn’t been protecting my heart, and since I let my guard down, life as I knew it was destroyed. This is why I strongly believe in guarding my heart. Plus, my rib cage can’t do it alone.
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