I’ve been told I have problems. I’ve been told I can’t make it. I’ve received strange, unneeded looks of confusion and pity. All of these things have been said to me at some point in my life because of my father’s actions. He, as I like to call him, has not been in my life since my twin brother and I were born. Story goes he left my Mom a couple of days before I came into the world which used to bother me. A lot.
As a young boy at about seven years old, something seemed different about my classmates and I. Sure, we all had two eyes, two arms, two legs, and a pair of nostrils, but something was still not the same. It was a Thursday, and I remember that I couldn’t particularly follow the lesson on that day which was strange because I was a bright student who usually stood out. All of my classmates continued to work as I sat and struggled. My teacher, Mr. Wible, approached me and said, “Keelan, why aren’t you working on your gift? It is Father’s Day, you know.” Father’s Day? I didn’t know what to make of it, really. After all, I didn’t even know what a Father was supposed to do. How could I make a gift for a Father who’s never been there? This, I did not know.
Ever since that day, this has bugged me. Randomers who get a hold of this information seem to take it upon themselves to frame my life around it. I sometimes have to remind these people that an event can only affect you if you let it affect you. Few of them listen.
One day, I decide I want to meet my father. My grandmother invited my brother and I to a family reunion which my father would be attending. We were excited, until we met him. He got off of his flight, talking on his cell phone and carrying a brown suitcase. He was a tall man, about 6’ 3”, and showed no signs of weakness. He didn’t say much to my grandmother. He said nothing to us. It continued like this for the next two days, and on the third day, he yelled at me for missing a serve in a family Volleyball game.
After this trip, I made myself a couple of promises. First, I promised that I would wait for my future wife. Second, I promised to be the best Father I could possibly be towards my children, when I have them. It hurts me how one could treat their own blood this way. I believe that being a Father starts now. The decisions I make will definitely affect my future, including the kids I’ll have later.
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