I believe in this world everyone can only count on themselves. No matter how close to me someone can come, I cannot hold them responsible to always be here when I need them. I believe I can make it to the top with only counting on myself. I have only myself to trust, to push, to motivate. Yes, others make me happy, make me fall in love but from time to time they will walk and leave me hanging on a string to fend for myself.
I do not know what can happen in the future, but all I know is that so far I have learned not to trust others, to let them inside my thoughts, to let them know who I really am. How I feel only matters to me. There are people out there who will put a smile on my face. But maybe that same person was the one who made me fall apart, and during the “downward spiral,” he was not around.
I once put my whole heart and soul into being with one person. He made me cry, made me smile. He made me fall in love. He promised me he would always be there for me. He promised he would help me out with whatever I needed, even to go to college. He promised he would be there for me. But when I least expected it, I found out the worst about him and then he was gone. I knew he wanted to be there for me. I knew he wanted to help me with my family problems. He was the one person who knew all my secrets all my thoughts, but he lied repeatedly to me. I lost him and he lost me. What does it matter that he promised me all those things if he could not stay with me for the long run? What does it matter that he wanted the world with me if he could not even be true to me? I trusted him to help me in the future. After he was gone, I felt lost, alone. What he wanted was not my concern anymore. My only concern was myself, my thoughts, my heart. It then became my turn to figure things out for myself.
Therefore, I ask this, “How can I count on people to help me achieve my goals if no one can truly stay?” I have only myself to build me, to make me strong, to make me who I am and who I will become.
I believe in this world I only have myself to count on.
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