Despite the obstacles I have had, I believe I can live a full life. You can’t change what happens and you can’t stop it. Sometimes you wish your life was different, but once you make your way through it, you will realize that it wasn’t all that bad. I sometimes wish that the past few years had been different.
When I was 13 years old I was diagnosed with Petit Mal Seizures. According to medical definitions, these seizures are defined as a brief disturbance of brain function from abnormal electrical activity in the brain. Usually you get them at a younger age and grow out of them, but not in my case. I was in 8th grade and I can remember the day in French class perfectly. The bell rang. My friend, Vanessa, was sitting next to me trying to get my attention, but all I could do was stare straight ahead like I was on auto pilot. The seizure lasted about 30 seconds. I had about 50 of them that day.
At the time I didn’t think of it as “scary”. I went to my doctor and he suggested that I begin recording when I had them and for about how long, Vanessa was a big help. My doctor also suggested that I have an MRI and an EEG done. I was scared and nervous but for sure I had 3 seizures during the EEG. My neurologist saw the results, put me on medication, and told me to take them for a year and we would see how things go from there. A year later I went off the medication and a few months later I started having them again, so back on the medication for a year and then off it yet again. I remember when I took part in the robotics tournament for my school. During the competition I had 10-15 seizures. Ever since then I have been taking the medication.
Recently, I found out I have a rare condition. This means that I have to remain on the medication. It looks as if I may have to take medication for the rest of my life. At first I became depressed with this thought. There were a few instances that made me feel like I didn’t want to be here. I questioned: Why? Why was I the one that had to be going through this? I adjusted to the changes. At 13, I was taking pills every day of my life, dealing with the side effects. I gained and lost a lot of weight through out the years, took trips to get blood work, too often. At times I wonder if this roller coaster will ever end. I just wish I could live my life without the blood work, pills, depression and anxiety.
Who you are can’t be changed and you shouldn’t feel like you can’t live your life to the fullest. If you have an obstacle in the way, you can overcome it. This I believe.
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