I believe that in order to be a great sister, daughter, mother and friend you have to please yourself first. In the past everyday I would wake up and wonder how everyone’s days are going. I would always think of ways I could make my best friend’s day’s better. I would call and ask if there was anything that they needed such as, their morning coffee or help with a chore that they waited until the absolute last minute to finish. It’s okay to want to help others in making their day enjoyable or easier. What’s not okay is caring so much about how other people’s days are going that you forget to find out how yours is going. It’s very hard to give all of yourself to someone without taking care of yourself. I found that out the hard way. The Four Amigos that’s what we called ourselves. We were high school friends and I thought we would be the best of friends forever. I didn’t take into account that after high school things most often change if you like it or not. Well life changed: busy signals, no response to text messages, and e-mail. Relationships formed and that’s what’s on a teenage girls mind for twenty three hours of the day. The other hour is spent “What am I going to eat today”? I put the weight of our relationship of my already wounded and fragile shoulders. I would send out mass text.
“GIRLS NIGHT MY PLACE AT SEVEN!
No response. Well maybe they’re working or the phones turned off bought shoes instead of paying the Verizon bill. No problem I’ll just try again at a later date to have a girl’s night out. So I sent out another mass text seems like the millionth one.
“Hey ladies huge BBQ at Marana park you down FREE FOOD”!
No responds to tell the truth I wasn’t really surprised. Well I tried on numerous occasions to many to count. The same old excuse I have to work, I don’t feel well. So I called on the one person that always makes me feel better. The first thing she said was
“Hello Princess how are you doing”? I responded
“Mother you’re a genius I love you I have to go”.
I ran straight to my very colorful and heavy diary and wrote for hours. I was smiling from ear to ear. I would write down everything from conversation I had that day. So now every morning I wake up and look in the mirror and say how are you feeling today? I would say me favorite phrase to myself every morning.
I say that because if you don’t love yourself no one will.
I still care about my friends a great deal but, I realize I can’t look for approval in myself from others. I have to take care of myself by going to my regular doctor appointments and soul searching. I can now look in the mirror and be proud of me.
Now that I’m pleased with myself I can now be a great sister to older brothers, a daughter, and an friend. I don’t try hard to get all of us together anymore. In just a matter of time we will all get together and reminisce on all the good times we had.
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