4 beliefs from a mother of 4

kimberly - binghamton, New York
Entered on March 6, 2009
Age Group: 30 - 50

I believe in the importance of patience. My now 4 year old daughter was placed at the gate of an orphanage at 2 days old and lived with many girls in one room for the first 11 months of her life. While my husband was in China he observed her aggressively grab back a spoon another girl trie3d to grab from her. She continues to be a feisty little fighter and I love that about her-except when she fights me, of course. There is a saying that goes “The best way to tame a wild horse is to give it a big pasture.” Giving each other this space and time to me is patience.

I believe ini the power of connecting with people. My 5 year old son is the 3rd of 4 children and can easily be overlooked because he is not demanding. When he is happy, his eyes just sparkle like sun on lake water. I nursed him until he was 3 and we had this bond we called our “nursey” time. I needed to stop and nurse. But now I need to be more deliberate to stop, look, listen and love-whether it’s getting on the same eye level as my child or smiling at a stranger.

I believe in smelling the roses, tasting the roses, listening to the roses, etc. My 9 year old was a c-section birth because he just didn’t want to come out, but the second he did he was wide eyed and wanting a taste of all the experiences life has to offer. He just looks at things in different ways. His coments are poetry in passing and his questions tickle my mind. How lucky I am to live with him as a reminder that we can choose flourescent, textured and 3-D experiences and not just limit ourselves to grey, 2-D ones.

I believe in holding onto my inner nerd and riding the waves of intensity life dishes up. My 12 year old son is the oldest and a preteen. His need is to fit in, be cool and get his needs met relatively immediately and my need is to get food on the table that is edible and manage my busy schedule ini an effective manner. Can you see how our needs may sometimes collide? For example, I thought I’d drop him off at school on a one way street in a practical way by backing the minivan up down the street( not that it would have mattered if it was a Delorian) to get to the front steps of the school which was met by “Mom! What are you thinking? Are you TRYING to embarrass me?” Life can be heavy. When he and I laugh together, we ride with the waves and release the tension.

I thank my 4 children for highlighting and helping my to live what I believe.