This I Believe

Nicole - Dayton, Maine
Entered on March 6, 2009

It’s a story of one broken girl’s great pain. It’s a story of hope, coming together, believing a better day is right around the corner. It’s a story of one girl bringing together a group of people who have found hope in her story, in her journey. It’s the story of Renee, a story of love, a story of a movement, a story of believing.

To Write Love On Her Arms is on a mission. A mission to find help for those suffering with depression and addictions. When Jamie Tworkowski first meets nineteen year old Renee her life couldn’t get much worse. She’s suffering with an addiction to drugs and alcohol, depression and cutting. Jamie and his friends set out to help her realize what real love is and help her get the help she desperately needs. They spend five days with her and shower her with love. She gives Jamie her last razor and enters rehab and finds sobriety. Helping her through her journey, Jamie Tworkowski, founded a website for TWLOHA, a myspace page and created t-shirts and committed himself to helping others in their own struggles. When I was told by a great friend to “just visit this site, it will help you” I finally realized I wasn’t alone in my struggle. I didn’t have to be anymore. It was a wonderful feeling to read Renee’s story, to read other’s stories and to read Jamie’s blogs. He’s an amazing writer and when I read his writings, I feel like I can see his heart, he lets his whole heart be shown and it inspires me to do the same. He makes me want to tear down the wall I’ve built around my own heart. I personally don’t know Jamie and I have never had the privilege to talk to him or meet him but I know he understands “us”. He wants to change the world. He’s a hero, he’s my hero.

I myself have battled depression, had a few problems, wound up in the emergency room, tore into myself, praying that I’d be part of me again someday. Not one of my friends ever turned their backs on me yet I continued to feel alone. When you learn to be lonely it tricks you, it convinces you that you are always going to be this way, that you’ll never find happiness but no matter how much you don’t believe it, you will. You can rid yourself of the pain. I just never realized it until I found the man who changed my life. I still haven’t fully gotten over everything, I’ll never be able to trust myself again and I’m still learning more about me. I’m still learning to be open, to talk to those about my problems, to let people in, to love myself, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Jamie once said “Learn what it means to love broken people. Don’t turn away from the things you don’t understand. We’re called to stop the bleeding. We’re called to change the world.” This isn’t Renee’s story, it’s everyone’s story. Love is the movement. Never give up on someone, don’t let them forget that one day things will get better, help stop the bleeding. Renee will get better, they will get better, I will get better, we will get better; this I believe.