I believe in passion. I believe in doing things with all my heart and soul. This belief has brought me both great triumph and great pain. The things I have loved in my life; soccer, school work, work, family, friends; I have completely devoted myself to with all the passion inside of me.
A great example of this is my soccer career. I fell in love with soccer when I was very young. It was an outlet for me on so many levels. I never had it easy in soccer and this was such a reflection of my own life as it evolved. My career was dictated by my fight and relentlessness. I never let playing on a division II team or not starting in games slow me down. I practiced as hard as I could. I remember being so young, sitting on my dad’s bed for hours watching tape after tape from the library about how to be a better goalkeeper before I could even read the books about it. I went to a goalkeeping overnight camp at 10 years old, self conscious of my ability and completely fearful of rejection. Not to mention I had never been away from my family for so long. I was the youngest person there by far. I ached to go home, but I fought leaving, just as I continued to fight for soccer for years to come.
I never started for my high school team, but at our senior banquet the starting goalkeeper recognized me for teaching her about goalkeeping and helping her through the years. This gave me great pride. In college I faced many adversities as a goalkeeper and I grew so strong because of them. When I realized I might lose my starting position to a younger player due to an injury, I devoted myself to working out and doing everything I could within my injury and beyond to make sure there was no question who should be leading the team.
As playing four years of college soccer came to an end, I felt a massive void where I had channeled so much love and passion for so many years. A void that I filled with an unwavering devotion to soccer and the many successes and recognition that came from that. Passion can be dangerous because, in the very nature of the word, it is powerful and intense. What I have learned is that I can use this passion for something that cannot be pulled from underneath my feet, and that is me. I can learn about myself and create my core with passion. Of course, there is a certain amount of caution I must take with being so passionate. There is an acceptance of a continual growth that must be inherent in my passion for who I am. Ultimately, I believe in passion and its strength within me to bring me joy and peace.
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