Trust is Paramount
Webster’s defines the word “trust” as:
“assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something”
I believe trust is paramount in any relationship we create in our life. Trust with our partner, trust with our family members, trust in our friendships and trust in business. Many individuals say they trust someone, but how many understand the depth of what trusting someone really means?
“Assured reliance on the character of someone.”
To me this means watching someone do what they do in their everyday life. Do they practice what they preach, do they say what they mean and mean what they say, are they there for you when you need them, do they have moral excellence they stand behind? I was once told by my Mentor in life, “trust but verify.” An old Regan saying. This means, trust an individual, but make sure your instincts within are correct as well.
“Ability of someone”
Is this individual capable of your trust? Do they have the ability to follow through with what they say and or do? Do they have the competence for receiving your trust? Are they worthy of your trust? Do they have the mental wherewithal to understand what your expectations are in a relationship? When my children were younger, if someone was doing a behavior the other wanted them to stop, we would say, I trust you not to “xyz” any more, and the other would have to agree and stop the behavior based on trust. This was a good lesson for them when they were younger. Much of the time it was used for the spit dribble of the siblings.
“Strength of someone”
Does this person have the mental strength to understand your needs and wants within the relationship? Will they hurt you if they become hurt or have they mastered their own emotions? Do they understand striving to the concept of selflessness and placing their own needs aside for you and/or the relationship? To be able to look into someone’s eyes and place 100% of your trust in an individual full well knowing they understand the depth of trust you have in them. Trust comes when they realize the power of your trust given and they will not abuse their strength and power within.
“Truth of someone”
Knowing that they will be honest and truthful with you at all times which includes proper respectful communication. Are they sincere with their action and how does it compare with their word? Are they of honest moral character? Do you believe them when they speak their words or do you debate within if they are truthful? I’ve often wondered if the whole “Santa” thing was a good way for my children to begin developing trust in me?
I know for me to truly trust someone, they must possess all the above characteristics, as “It takes years to build trust, and only seconds to destroy it.”
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