I Will Never Let Go

Erica - Bloomington, Illinois
Entered on March 3, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death, family, legacy, love

Letting go of someone is the hardest thing for a person to do. Often we do not disconnect ourselves from loved ones; however, they are taken away from us. “Oh it’s ok, just let it go. Forget about it” is an expression that people are told to help terminate the sorrow and pain, but if we allow those important things to fly past our heads, how much are we missing?

I believe that letting go of that special someone means that a person no longer wants to withhold those memories that he or she has shared. Seeing my grandmother for the first time, after her death, in her gold and brown casket, I held on to her cold hand and said to her, “I want to hang on forever” just like I use to say as a little girl hanging from her back like a little monkey. I was not ready to give up her touch or those superb, exciting memories of her dancing to that up tempo salsa beat, and I haven’t. As I never forget her, I feel as if I am still holding her hand.

I believe that letting go means that a person no longer cares. Why detach yourself from those who you have a deep compassion for? Working in the Emergency Room as a Certified Nurses Aid, I have witnessed such sympathy. I still see it till this day. A man who had just got into a severe car accident is being rushed in and immediately I am told to grab and gloves and began CPR. While doing chest compressions, I look up and that is when I am staring straight into the man’s wife’s teary brown eyes. She is pleading for me not to stop while grasping her husband’s swollen hand. The woman is reminding her husband of how much she and their two young children love him. Although the man has passed, his wife and their children will continue to carry on that togetherness and care in which they once shared.

I believe that letting go shows a weakness that a person is no longer able to put across emotions. It is very noticeable when a person is trying hard to move on from a bad situation, for example recently my grandfather passed away and the thought of him not sitting on the old creaky chair which he once sat in, leaves my grandmother to feel as if she is incapable of anything, starring out the window with a lack of expression on her face. Time and again, I remind her of my grandfather in order for her not to forget her unconditional feelings and memories of that special man in her life, and each time I am able to bring that smile, that a kid has when opening up a Christmas gift, to her face.

I have learned from my experiences that I must always attach myself to those who I love the most, even if it means crying my eyes out to my best friends, constantly reminding myself of those who have passed, and continuing to care for those who are still here. Each time we leave a loved one, instead of saying good-bye, we must tell that person “I will never let go”.