I Believe In Greater Power

christian - holton, Kansas
Entered on March 2, 2009
Age Group: Under 18

I believe that what you do to someone can come back to haunt you and that if it is bad enough it can scar you for life. As long as I can remember my mother has been out of her wits or a few quarters short of a buck. All I ever remember of her is screaming, crying, frantic worrying and other stuff that must have been drowned out by drugs and alcohol. When I was little I recall my mother claming that if I ate hot dogs out of the package I would get worms, and that since I accidentally played my sister’s claw game, God was mad at me. Of course, when you’re seven years old you believe it and it scares you.

I can remember her throwing me into to a pool to test to see if it was clean or not and I had ended up scraping my toe. As the years went on I started to realize what a horrible person she was, how could a mother act like that? I soon found out, in seventh grade. I was dealing with a lot of chemical depression, which runs in my family. She came down to visit me for my birthday and convinced me to go down to Florida with her, and if I did, everything would be better; there would be no more fear, no more anxiety and no more depression. Just turning 14, I believed her and I was willing to try anything to get rid of my depression.

I left my house on a Friday morning, My dad left just two hours before. As the night continued, we stopped at a hotel for the night and my mom was out of it again thinking they were bugging phones and tracing our license plate number. When we arrived at her trailer I was greeted by her boyfriend who seemed nice at first but later I realized that he was just like her. My family eventually found me, Then I was on a plane straight back home right where I started. Even worse, someone who just manipulated my mind still seemed to not really care I was given 20 dollars from her boyfriend, I spent it all on arcade games and she just slept the whole time in the airport. I left and, of course, I cried the whole time because my thoughts mixed with emotions were confusing me and I couldn’t believe all this was happening.

Later I found myself staring at the ceiling thinking of how bad it was then and how good it is now just to get relief from the struggle of my mind. So, this is what I believe that good things happen to good people and that everything happens for a reason. My life now is good and I feel my dad loves me and cares for me. I believe this will last an entire lifetime and I consider myself lucky to have such a man as my father.