I believe in stability.
I’d like to believe that I’m the rock: the immovable, the foundation, and the one constant people could always turn back to when the world did a complete 180 on them. Growing up in a less than stable environment, it’s a wonder how any sort of order could have risen from the relative disorder that happened all around me: frequent school changing, gaining and losing of friends on a whim, and constant bickering among family members. There were no lasting connections, and the ones I was force to have were all but stagnating into ruin. It was like having the papers of my life swirl around in the wind, and I trying desperately to grab them all. Where’s the stability in any of that? But it’s precisely that chaos that had awoken within me a desire to want and promote stability.
Finding stability was a difficult task for me. With naïveté I expected it to come, more or less, overnight thinking that saying “I’m sorry” would suffice. Needless to say, that did not fare well in the short term with my family. They were, by design, a proud, arrogant, and stubborn bunch, and one not so open to reconciliation. With my family stuck in limbo for the time being, I turned instead to my friends. It was with them that I truly did find some semblance of stability in my life. As a student in high school surrounded by peers that I had come to know over the years, I had found a sense of camaraderie with them. This time around there was no fear of being transferred to another school or having to deal with immature teen drama (I strayed far away from that bunch). While the rest of my life could be subjected to unpredictable jabs and pulls from all different directions, my friends were always there for me, listening to me blabber about anything and everything that weighed heavily on my shoulders. Gaining that foundation gave me a lasting peace that I, in turn, was able to finally give to my family. But I wanted to go further than that, to provide stability for others too.
I have known a couple of people who were stoic like I was, putting forth an air of stability when within they clearly were troubled, like facing the aftermath of a devastating hurricane. Call it being meddlesome, but I felt like I just needed to show them that they didn’t have to pretend things were okay. No matter how one slices it, hiding away one’s inner turmoil is not a healthy way to live one’s life. I’ve been through it, and I wasn’t happy. For me there is no greater reward than to take a weight off of a person’s shoulder and be the foundation that they need. The ability to feel empathy and join that with selfless service to others…that is what I believe makes stability worthwhile to anyone who desires it.
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