Lies Between Siblings

Montrel - Houston, Texas
Entered on March 1, 2009

Lies Between Siblings

Siblings. They have a saying to go with them, it goes “Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them.” I never thought the second part of that to be true, but that was until I had to “live without them”. Experiencing something I never want to feel again in my life.

It happened one night in our old two bedroom apartment, of which I shared with my mother and two sisters. I was twelve and my little sister had been terrorizing me all night, though all night my mom had told her to stop. That night after years of tension, I got so frustrated and just…snapped! I ended up pushing my little sister so hard that she collided with the wall and ricocheted onto the floor. Limply she laid there lifeless, or so it seemed.

Being the drama queen that my little sister was, I thought she was exaggerating the whole thing, but when she did not wake my mom came rushing into the room. She checked her breathing, hearing nothing in return. I began to wonder whether she was faking or really unconscious. My mom began to scream for the phone, and at that moment I had realized what I had done. I killed a person. I killed my sister! Tears began to flow down my face, and swimming thought of a funeral, the thoughts from my family, and jail began to fill my head. I didn’t mean to kill her. Scaring her would have been enough. I thought I should be punished, I thought… I thought I should be dead. That I should be dead for what I’d done.

All of a sudden I heard those words I hated so much, yet for the first time I was actually elated them then.

“Ha-ha! I got you!” I heard in the nasally high pitched voice. She had been faking, and I was happy she was. I felt relief and happiness, yet the thought of me actually hurting her lingered in my mind. I did not hug my sister, but on the inside I was happy she was unharmed.

I don’t know why it was, that it took such an experience for me to realize I actually loved my sister. I believe maybe, just maybe, we let ourselves believes that we hate our siblings a lot more than we really do. Even if one were to oppose that belief; even if they could live without their brother or sister, I will hold my words true still. I will hold them true, for the simple fact that I would rather live with my sister than without her.