Evar After

Laura - Bloomington, Illinois
Entered on February 27, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30

Ever After

I believe in the ever after. Something exists after life, there just has to be. My grandparents are a prime example. In my life, my grandparents left this world too early and what I mean by too early is my dad’s parents died before I was born and my mom’s parents died before I was one year old. They left this world without knowing me or my brothers so I believe they come back in different ways now.

I never met my grandparents but still they are part of me and my life. Every time my dad tells me I remind him of his mom, I think she is with me. Apparently we have similar personalities and mannerisms. My dad’s father is with me in my dad. For example, they are comparable in the way that they both love planes; from piloting them to knowing everything about every single plane. Also, from looking at a picture of my grandfather standing in front of his plane I realize they share the same stance even. Those are the only connections I have with my grandparents and I cherish every one of them. I know this could get trivial since on every movie shelf there is a film about someone coming back to life but it is not like that.

Then for my other grandparents; my mom’s mom is always around me when I am close to water. She loved to swim and to be near water, so when I am in the water she is there with me. When I am at my family’s lake house I can imagine her sitting on our dock smiling, laughing and loving being there. Same goes for my grandfather and water but he has a stronger presence somewhere else. My grandfather on my mom’s side loved the theater, whenever I see a play, especially in Chicago I sense him with me. He is all around, in the lights, the curtains, the music and the costumes; he would have loved to share those experiences with me. To all of my grandparents, family was the number one priority which makes not knowing them or them not knowing me even harder.

The rest of my family, and I mean all of my family, the distant relatives have memories of my grandparents, I only have pictures, looks, and the feeling of my grandparents being with me whatever it is; their soul, spirit, or me making a big deal out of something small. Maybe it is not true but it makes not having any grandparents or any memories of my grandparents endurable.

Thoughts of not having or knowing my grandparents is heartbreaking because for some people they have special names for their grandparents but for me I never know what to call them; should I call them my grandfather and grandmother, grandpa, and grandma, or by their first name. I wish they could talk to me instead of just being around because I have so many questions. I could talk or listen to them for days. To those who have their grandparents, love and cherish them and the time you spend together, I would love the chance to be with mine. But once they are gone they are not truly gone at least for me and my belief in the ever after.