The mirror can be an extremely frightening object. I look, only to see myself staring back at me. Who am I? When someone looks at themselves in the mirror, they should be satisfied with their reflection. I believe that every person is an individual and should accept and love themselves for who they are. Only then can one find happiness in life.
Although I believe this, I have not always lived by this. As my life moves on, I continue to try and understand who I am.
This process of change began for me on a regular day like any other in the summer of 2006. I remember examining myself in the mirror, as though for the first time. The thought “I am fat,” drifted through my head. Those three small words were like a jail sentence that locked me inside of myself and held me hostage to my own self- loathing. I was beginning to realize that I wasn’t good enough for anybody or anything. I truly believed that I was a stupid, fat jerk.
As the months continued and I started into grade seven I decided that I was going to change myself; I was going to be better somehow. I would start with weight loss because a few less calories here and there couldn’t hurt anyone could it? My downward spiral began as I struggled to gain confidence in myself. I was both proud and horrified when I finally fell below a hundred pounds. Proud because I finally had that flat, washboard stomach that I had worked so hard for. Horrified by all of the anguish that I had and was inflicting upon my family and friends.
Eventually I was able to begin the long, slow, and painful road to recovery. Real change didn’t happen until I truly could not take the frustration of an eating disorder any longer. Only then did I find the strength to let go of all the rules and regulations that I had restricted myself with. The chains that bound me began to loosen as I fought to find peace with my body and mind.
Through all of this, I learned that I am who I am. I can be myself, be happy, and live life to its full potential, or I can spend all my time pointing out flaws and worrying. When I like myself, I find the ability to believe. When I believe, I am motivated to make a difference in my relationships, my community, maybe even the world… who knows until I really start living? Every person has the right to be happy with themselves and live life to its fullest.
I believe in having a world of acceptance. A world where people feel loved and content with their life. The more I like myself, the happier I am, the more I live in the moment, the more worthwhile my life becomes. Every person is different and every person has their own story to tell. I want my story to be worth telling. This I believe.
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