Finding Optimism in Sorrow

Allyson - LA GRANGE, Illinois
Entered on February 23, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death

Throughout my life, there has been no situation so hard for me to handle than the death of my grandma. Just as nearly everyone has had that one experience that was so difficult to go through, I went through mine about six weeks ago. But, what made my grandma’s death troubling for me personally was the fact that what I believed in was being challenged, or really because of my belief, it was a challenge to uphold it. I strongly believe in finding the goodness in all situations. At the time, I thought that to be impossible. Now, I can see things a bit more clearly.

Ever since I was born, my grandma was a second mom to me. She lived only one block away, so any chance I had I would run over to her house, even throughout freshman year. I loved my grandma with all my heart, to the point where we were more than just your normal grandma-granddaughter relationship. We were best friends. Then, the summer of 2008 rolled along, and things didn’t look too good. I had never seen her in such a bad condition before, so for the first time, her weakness hit me hard. Stretching up until around the beginning of January, I witnessed the slow progression of someone experiencing ever-increasing pain and weakness. On January 7, she passed away.

That very day began my struggle of finding what good could come out of the matter. All I could think about was how ridiculous it sounded to try and find the good aspects of a person dying. For my sanity though, I knew I needed to discover exactly what those aspects were.

I began to think about it, and as horrible as it sounds to say out loud, finding the goodness in my grandma’s death wasn’t hard to do. The thought that she was in no pain was a huge revelation for me. I had always known she was in pain all the time, but near the end of her life, it is unbearable for me to think of how much pain she was in. Really, how much suffering she had to go through just to live, laying down in a hospital bed. It is the realization no one wants to make, but that is a necessity at the same time. Although it may have seemed impossible at the time, I succeeded and found myself realizing that finding the goodness in situations really does pay off. Personally, it allowed me to move through my time of grief easier, knowing that all the suffering had gone away. For that fact, I challenge others in their worst hour to pick themselves up and find the goodness that can come out of the situation. Believe me when I say: It’s possible.