I Believe

Susan - El Cajon, California
Entered on February 20, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30

I believe that this whole college experience will make me a better person and a better mother to my daughter.That I will earn a good education and get somewhere in life, because of what I accomplish here. Even though there may be some difficult things I have to learn here, WHEN (not if) I succeed I will be a better person for it. Although this is one of the most callenging experiences of my life, I am proud of myself for being here and going through with this. There was a time in my life that school was the farthhest idea from my mind. I lived eight years of my life addicted to methanphetamine. As a result, I spent a lot of my time doing things that I most likely would not have done if I had been in my right mind. I committed crimes. I stole items of value from my friends and family and sometimes complete strangers. I wasted tons of time in hotels and motels and other places where drug addicts gather. Because of my actions, I often went to jail and paid for my crimes. Unfortunately it took me almost eight years to learn my lesson. The last time I went to jail, I went for child endangerment and they took my daughter away. That was the worst feeling in the world but that is what it took for me to figure out that I needed to change. While I was incarcerated I got my GED and started going to Narcotics Anonamous meetings. That is where I figured out that I needed to go to treatment. While I was in treatment I worked really hard to get my daughter back from the system. It was a lot of work, but I did it. I have had my daughter back for over a year now. At fifteen months clean I had a relapse. I drank too much alcohol and got extremely drunk. Although it was not my drug of choice it was still a major problem. My clean time started over again and I decided that I needed more treatment. I chose an outpatient program and started to take my recovey very seriously. It was my counselor at that priogram that opened my eyes about going to school. It is because of what she told me about her own experience of being a single mother, new in her recovery, going to college, that made me decide to actually go through with it too. At 237 days clean I started my very first college class. And here I am today. I hope that my daughter will learn from what I am doing with my life now and not the mistakes I have made in the past. I believe that by watching me take this risk she will be inspired. She will know that when it comes time for her to take a risk, that she can do anything she wants to do, anything she puts her mind to. I believe it is important for me to teach her how to be a good person and I am starting to set a good example by going to school. It is my wish that she will follow that example.