My insides churn every night still wondering why. I am scared to say I don’t understand, but I don’t and that’s the truth. Maybe if he said what he meant, and meant what he said, I wouldn’t be laying on my bed questioning myself. I feel as if I am being lied to, I fear as if I am wrong. Maybe my mind is simply deranged or out of place, but my thoughts are not so. I don’t have a thesis, for this situation is too muddy and unclear. Unclearness is a problem. All problems can be solved, even if it’s an empty set sign, there is still a solution. He started this and ended it too. But why? For it was all going swell, he has to admit that. He called me his princess and danced with no music; he stayed up late and told me his secrets. Now he doesn’t talk unless I go to him, which I must stop if I have the will. He isn’t the kind that would do this to me, he is better then that. This was not his doings, or maybe he is just not who I thought him to be.
If people meant what they said and said what they meant, there would be no confusion, no staying up late wondering why, no second guessing, no unneeded pain. It seems as if some people tend to over flow the cookie-cutter images we have of them in our minds. Why did his words not match his actions? He shouldn’t have said what he didn’t mean. I believe in saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Then everyone would know exactly how other people feel and what they want. Words have significance; they can create loving moments and undeniable trust. If used without meaning they can manifest catastrophes.
Imagine a world where everyone said what they meant and meant what they said. Friends could trust friends. Wives could trust husbands. Children could trust their parents. Citizens could trust politicians. And I, a young teen-age girl, wouldn’t be dazed and confused about a silly little boy. If everyone chose their words as careful as women choose the clothes they wear on their first dates, the world would be a little lighter, happier, and better off.
Honest words have the power to drown a person in a puddle of their own tears or feel as if they are among the stars. Honest words may damage the heart at times, but not knowing or being deceived can cause heart attacks. Honest words, or saying what you mean and meaning what you say, creates the foundation of friendships, love, marriage, families, and governments. Dishonesty and not add meaning to words, creates enemies, hatred, divorce, exiles, and teenage heartaches.
If he is letting me go through this confusion, making me suffer, trying to predict why he did what he did, then I don’t need him or his dishonesty. It is obvious that he didn’t mean what he said or said what he meant when he called me his princess and danced with no music; when he stayed up late and told me his secrets. I believe in saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.