This I Believe…

Amanda - Washingtonville, New York
Entered on February 18, 2009
Age Group: Under 18

I believe in the square peg. The one that never fits in the round hole, no matter how hard you smash it in. I believe I am that square peg. Don’t get me wrong, but being that left out peg doesn’t mean I’m not good enough; it just gives me a better point-of –view. While alone and decrepit, the square peg can realize that it doesn’t want to be like everyone else. It doesn’t want to fit in that mold and look like everyone else, it realizes that it’s a square peg in an unfair round world.

All throughout my life I have hovered in the fringes of the cliques. Never had I been one simple thing; a Nerd, Jock, Goth or Prep. Somehow I managed to be a little bit of everything, even though my dream was to be a rock star. My fit into the round holes all around alarmed me. I was never as close as the semi-circles or those funny cylinders. Instead, I was a square, surrounded by the rectangles and triangles…in other words, the rejects.

High school was even worse. Somehow those holes developed criteria and stereotypical labels. How could I even manage? Words and names I have never heard of before popped out overnight. My rectangle friends became a new species of nerd: The Otaku. The triangles became dark or happy, it was unpredictable, and they became The Scene Kids. I sat as that square absorbed the knowledge of all of them and even stealing some fashion tips. My character went through a bigger metamorphosis, almost getting me to the stage I want. Yet those labels attacked.

“Are you a Goth?”No.

“Are you Emo?”I’m too happy to be. But not happy enough to be anything else.

“What are you?” I wish that I could answer that question but I simply can’t. If I knew what I was or who I should be with then I would be there, wouldn’t I?

I believe in a whole new board. I think we should scatter some triangles and rectangles in along with those circles. For the hell, of it add a diamond or a trapezoid. Life doesn’t have to be a caste system of geometry. Well only if you make it to be.

At the moment I’m content with my squareness. I love the fact that I know a little bit of what’s going on in all the cliques. I wear black but that doesn’t mean I hate colors. Maybe I just look better in black. I care about my hair like Valley girls do, I wear Converses and DC’s like the Skaters, my clothes come mostly from Hot Topic. This square peg loves to watch T.V. and shows like Heroes.Like The Otaku I enjoy some anime. Like the Gamers, I have a 360 and actual GOOD games.

I believe in the square peg because I know I’m not the only one out there,but even as a square peg I know I’m not perfect. I steadily accept the grooves and chips in my block, but that’s what makes me even more different from the OTHER square pegs. I believe in difference.