I believe that you should live to be happy, and whatever/whoever/wherever makes you happy, never let it get taken away. I’ve always had a fear of having what makes me happy is going to get taken away from me. Ever since I was little I saved myself from getting in trouble. The slightest bit of yelling or consequences made me cry. The reason I’m so afraid is because of one spanking. One spanking and one trip to the pool taken away from me.
It was a hot summer day and I was only 3 years old. We lived in apartments, and about 30 yards away from my small patio was a pool. I had refused to take a nap. Crawling out of my crib 3 times over in front of my overtired mother was not a good idea. One ‘WOP!’ on the diaper was enough for me to realize that trouble making was not for me. Since then, I always hid things and never got caught for the things I did. People gave me a label, and always believed me. To this day, people believe that I don’t cause trouble. The fear of getting happiness taken away keeps me from trouble.
In 6th grade my parents got divorced. The most depressing time in my whole life. I was close with both of my parents. As soon as my mother had moved out, I was never the same. I got another thing that made me happy taken away. Almost turning to drugs, I finally turned to drowning myself in my own mind. Somehow, everything turned optimistic.
In 7th grade, everything was about rainbows, cookies and friends. Up until family counciling, my father had turned to drinking to drown out all of his worries and problems. Everything changed. To this day I try not to look back. I just keep my mind buried in my computer monitor and play World of Warcraft, being on web-cam with my best friend Branden.
If it weren’t for my best friend, a lot of bad things would have happened this freshman year. I thank him for being there for me to talk to and help me with my worries, and my family’s worries. People have threatened to take him away from me. To do that they would just take away my phone, and my internet, and I can’t let that happen. Even if he never had shown up in my life, getting the internet and phone taken away would send me into a spiral of depression. It’s especially valuable now that I have someone to trust online.
Optimism and love; unconditional, no strings attached. Those are the keys to living in happiness. If you’re going to live for something, make sure it makes you the happiest person in the world in your own way. Just don’t let it get taken away. I know I won’t let it happen. I’ll keep my best friend, my internet, my phone, my love and my lies…you keep the rest.
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