I don’t quite think that anything is quite so wonderful, so scary, annoying, exhilarating, or as crazy as the first time you fall in love. For me, sad to say, it was unrequited love. Everyday at swim practice, I would wait to spot Josh. His sandy blond hair, deep gray eyes, impressive vocabulary, and ability to swim much faster than me just drew me to him like a fly to honey. I laughed at his jokes, empathized with his personal life, and even occasionally flirted with him. But practice after practice, he thought of me as a friend, and nothing more.
At our big championship meet of the season, I was hanging out with Josh even more. We sat together, cheered on our teammates together, and sat on the bleachers together. I was clearly in high heaven. Every moment seemed like a dream. He even occasionally flirted with me. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. By this time, I assumed he probably liked me, even if it was the tiniest amount. I was thrilled.
I was the first person at swim practice the next day. Thinking over it all the previous night (and I mean all night), I decided that I must love him. A rush filled my body whenever I said his name, or even thought of him. I ended up seeing him at practice, but everything was the same. Actually, he even told me about his new girlfriend. Great. All I could do was smile when he told me how he held her hand. Oh, and that he was moving up to a new group. As I swam countless amounts of yards that day, his words echoed in my head. Tears filled up my goggles, and I swam on.
A year later, I reflect on this experience. Sometimes I just like to blame it on ignorant adolescence, but the hurt is still there. That night, I had cried myself to sleep, blaming every god in the known universe for my incredible misfortune. I didn’t stop to think that I was blessed with the ability to have highest GPA in my school, and that my family is always there for me and my dreams. But now, I know that my experience with Peter was just a part of growing up. Now I know that I have bigger dreams to amount to, like going to Harvard and becoming a cardiologist. I focus on schoolwork, and continue to strive to fulfilling my goals.
But I still do believe in love. One day, when I’m least expecting it, I’ll finally find true love, not the unrequited kind. I believe I’ll find a newer, better Josh out there, who actually loves me back. I believe that I’ll find true love someday. This, I believe.
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