My whole life I have been searching for someone to fill that “spot” in my heart. I have gone from relationship to relationship searching for something I cannot find in man. I have come to realize that God is the only one who can fill that spot, and no matter how much someone says he “loves” me, he can never love me more than the one who laid down his life for me. I may get lonely at times but the love that I receive from my heavenly father is so much more amazing and fulfilling than the love that any man on this earth can give to me.
I cannot begin to explain how many times I have tried to make some one “love” me or want to be with me. I have done everything I can to make a relationship work; I even thought that if I did all of the buying and giving maybe I could buy someone’s love. Even when I was treated horribly I would stay in the relationship just so I would not be lonely. I have given guys every part of me so that I would feel loved and I would only end up hurting more than I did before I began that relationship. The whole time I was giving my heart to the wrong people. I just needed to be patient and give my heart to God, trust him, and let him send the perfect person my way.
After reading a book a few months ago my whole out look on relationships changed drastically. How could I possibly give my heart to every guy I dated? How on earth could I love him more than anything and then expect to one day marry someone and have anything left to give for my husband? I was giving my heart to everyone not realizing that there would be nothing left of my heart for my future husband. By giving him my broken heart God has mended and repaired it for the one he has out there patiently waiting on me.
I am finished with trying to make things work with all the wrong people. I am done with settling for less than I deserve. If a man cannot open the a door for me, drive to see me, take me out every once in a while, call me just to say hey, and treat me like the lady that I am , then he is not worth my time. I know that by raising the bar and respecting myself, then the man in my life has no choice but to respect me.. I am officially giving my heart to the one who created me. I have given God the pen to my life and, I’m letting him write my love story.