I Believe in Marriage

Robert - Canfield, Ohio
Entered on February 12, 2009
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family

I Believe in Marriage

I believe that the marital bond is the lock that holds a family together. Because without it, the family will starve. Children will be worse off and divorce causes a ripple that affects family members and friends all around us. With so many marriages and relationships ending over trivial matters, small arguments that grow over years of miscommunication and apathetic silence. When two people decide they are going to take the big step towards marriage, they must know that they are now adding their own branches to their family trees. Even if that couple never plans to have children, it still causes a rift in their two families. The bride and the groom’s families are joined in a massive celebration of love and a rekindling of joy. The happiness at a wedding is just so palpable. The love between the bride and the groom on that day is the closest thing in real life to fairy tale. The overjoyed feeling is not just restricted to the newlyweds, but the whole entire family. I have found it impossible to not be happy about something at a wedding.

One incredible thing to watch at weddings is when the two opposite families begin to bond, just as the two lovers have. As is often the case, the two different families have many disagreements that may lead to a deeper resentment later on down the road. Nevertheless, it is still the newlyweds’ responsibility to make peace as they must remain the neutral core of the renewed family.

If the couple chooses to have children, then they have not only inherited a large immediate family, they now have planted their very own seeds to start their family tree. No matter how many children are born into the household, the responsibility remains astronomical and is nearly impossible to comprehend. I do not have children of my own and only share a morsel of that responsibility as I am a godfather of my cousin’s daughter. With multiple children, parents constantly juggle so many things at once that if a divorce does indeed occur, the children could end up splitting or suffering from emotional repercussions. Also, the older the child is the more likely he or she is to act out. Danger also lies in the role of being a single parent, because no matter how hard the mother or father try to occupy both parental roles they will always come up short to the child’s expectations. Especially if the other parent stops supporting the family.

There could have been many reasons why my parents split. Some marriages end within the first five years, some disintegrate over time. My mom told me that me that her marriage failed within the first few years, because they were not ready for marriage in the first place. It seems that my mother and father always put their problems first ahead of their own child. Instead of talking through things, they decided to bicker until the marriage was in shambles. My father will not talk to me until I lose all connection with my mother. Sooner or later they have to forgive each other. If a couple like mom and dad forgets to talk to one another, they lose empathy with each other, before they know it they become two different people. All my life I have had broken relationships as my base, not just my mother’s, but relatives and friends too. The fact is that I have no sense of direction, and I will probably struggle for years to find a relationship that I know can work. The problem is communication. I see my friends growing out of their teenage years, and the problem for their parents now is that with the kids gone, they have starting talking to each other. Communication is how people should fit together not how they drift apart.

There are many exceptions, nevertheless, because regardless of me not growing up with a father, I grew up healthy and happy. There is a saying that boys who grow without dad are in constant search of father figures. I have found myself looking for that kind of role model ever since I was little. Neighbors, relatives, and all kinds of people I have met. So far I have yet to find myself a true makeshift father. Being that I do not remember my biological father, I never once long to reconnect with him and realize that I have made the best stand-in dad I could ask for. One of my friends was less fortunate, as his parents were divorced just as he was turning twelve. He got through it, and I noticed that he was not afraid to lean heavily on his friends. The most important consolation for my friend was that the mother and father still communicated. He would switch between the two houses comfortably. I asked him how he got over the divorce so fast. He said simply, “They still loved me.” Finally, my mother is a beacon for single parents everywhere for raising me as well as she has done. It was tough for a working doctor to be a mother and father for her child seven days a week, but she did it. I believe that a happy family can still be achieved even if there are only two members. However I have seen one, and only one so far, marriage where a mother and father work together producing a beautiful harmony that warms a family and brings a sublime happiness to their child. Both parents acting as role models help remove the pressure and anxiety a single parent might feel raising a child on their own. My mom rose to the occasion and she raised her child right. Still, I believe more than ever that a stable marriage would make keeping family first easier than ever.