For Crying Out Loud
This great, lummox-like fat man, bounding around the stage clutching his red hanker chief was the most impressive thing my four year old eyes had ever taken in. At an outdoors concert in Pennsylvania, somehow Meat Loaf managed to exude coolness despite his portly stature and poor concert location (Pennsylvania isn’t exactly cool). He was full of sincerity and passion. He believed he was cool. I believed he was cool. I believe I’ll always listen to Meat Loaf.
When I was around three, I moved to Pennsylvania with my family-including my grandma. My grandma is English but even before she moved to America she had developed a penchant for Meat loaf’s music and used to play it for me all the time. I loved Meat Loaf more and more each time she played me that record. I loved him for his sincere voice, and I loved him because he was something that bonded me with my grandma.
I change my mind about everything I possibly can. I hate the friends I loved last week, I can’t stand the boy I thought I couldn’t get enough of, I hate, but I’ll always love Meat Loaf. It’s important for me to believe a different thing everyday, so that I can decide which belief will hold. I don’t believe that as I get older, I’ll grasp onto a belief that has spontaneously presented itself as the right one. Just the way I don’t believe that I’ll become a mature adult on my eighteenth birthday, because age is just a number. I believe maturity comes with experience, as do beliefs. But amidst all my belief chaos, I need a stoic belief to cling to. I believe Meat Loaf is my rock.
“I’m in the middle of no where/near the end of the line/but there’s a border to somewhere waiting/and there’s a tank full of time/”. I believe I’m still constantly changing. I haven’t settled into myself yet and I couldn’t predict the sort of person I’ll be when and if I do settle into myself. I might not be a vegetarian anymore or I might have graduated into full-fledged vegan, I might have a high-powered corporate job, or I might work at a carnival. No matter what I end up doing, I know I’ll still be rocking right along with Meat Loaf, like a bat out of hell. I can count on the sincerity in Meat Loaf’s voice, in a world where honesty isn’t as valuable as success, it’s comforting to know that no matter how many times he sings about being in the near the end of the line, he’ll always mean it.
I believe that my life will be chaotic no matter how old I get to be, and that’s good. Chaos keeps things interesting and engaging but it can get a little lonely if there isn’t at least one stable thing. I’ve always had Meat Loaf’s music as a stable influence in my life, and I believe his powerful, calming voice will always be there for me.
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