Happiness

Hannah - colorado, Colorado
Entered on February 11, 2009
Age Group: Under 18

My dad used to say to me “If you would just live my way, you would be truly happy”. Growing up the true definition of a “daddy’s girl” made me want to believe every word he spoke. When he said something to me that might be wrong was incomprehensible. When my dad married my step mom they went “Church shopping” They came upon a church that consumed their whole life. Everything that they did had to be within regulation of this church. Growing up in a very relaxed and open minded home, where religion was never forced, was normal for me and to spend every moment asking for forgiveness for things that I never knew were wrong was so hard for me to believe. Being fifteen and being told having a boyfriend was going to send me to hell was very scary. My father telling that if I didn’t live his way one hundred percent of the time, I had to get out of his house was the hardest thing I had ever had to deal with.

For a long time I gave up everything I had built on thought my whole life, just to stay a “daddy’s girl.” I lost my friends, even the one I had been friends with since grade school left me. I lost touch with my mom; I refused to be around her because she didn’t believe what I did. I spent every moment pray for towards something I wasn’t even sure was real. I spent seven months completely isolating myself from anyone who was not involved with this church. I got into a minor fight with my dad and this started to bring back the feelings of independence. I was starting to see what I had become. I let my father brainwash me. Very slowly I started to mend my relationships and pulled away from the church. I started talking to my mom again and spending more time with her. When my dad started to recognize my distance from his church he was very worried and stared to put more and more restrictions on me, and I kept pulling away. Every day it was a fight about something else, until December twenty sixth 2007, he said it again, “If you’re not going to live my way then get out.” My mom was there that night to pick me up. I lost being a daddy’s girl. Now I am truly happy, I have friends and my family. I lost something that I had to in order to be happy. I believe in doing whatever I have to do to be happy, and that’s sometimes leaving behind someone who you love.