Words Can Hurt

Jennifer - Downers Grove, Illinois
Entered on February 5, 2009
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: setbacks

Words Can Hurt

I have always been the type of person who never understood metaphors and analogies because I have always taken things so literally. I don’t know if I lack creativity or imagination, but that’s how I have always been. As well as being a literal person I have also been one to over think what I have been told and read too far into things. This is why I believe words can hurt.

I met a very good friend of mine freshman year and by the end of the year we were dating and have been ever since. We are both very different people but I think that is why we lasted so long together, we filled in the missing pieces for each other.

At the beginning of senior year, I began to realize that this was my last year here in high school, last year at home and last year that I would be in the same place with my friends all together. I wouldn’t say I fell out of love but rather wanted to take in my surroundings and in my way say good bye to this chapter in my life and get ready to start a new one. Things between *Mark and I were shaky but we still continued to date and things were fine, it just wasn’t like it always had been.

Our biggest fight yet came right after the New Year. Things at home weren’t going good and I wanted to spend some time alone. I mean in the next year I will be off on my own and becoming an adult. The shock hadn’t hit me until very recently.

I began to become closed off, staying away from friends and family, even *Mark, who has always been there for me.

I never thought that *Mark and I would become what we have. We knew each other better than anyone else; sometimes I think *Mark knew me better than I knew my own self. But with that knowledge, it became our biggest threat to one another. We both knew what to say to hurt the other, not just a little comment here or there that would scratch the surface, but a stab to the heart.

Five minutes before sitting down to write this, as I stop at my locker to get my English and Math materials, I had to tell *Mark that I didn’t think we would work and it would be best to not see each other anymore, and I think those are the words that hurt the most. I can take being called a bitch but telling my first true love that we are done hurts the most. It’s funny how we can spend four years with someone, who has been there for everything during high school and then one day those three words we used to say to each other, mean nothing.

Walking in the halls these last few months at school I know will be hard. I see *Mark multiple times a day and even have a class with him. Not being able to go sit next to him or walk into class and say ‘hi,’ knowing that hi would be an understatement to everything we have said to each other before.