Some people say life is a drag. Others like me say sometimes life isn’t what you expect it to be. This I believe to be true. This is also what I live by, my motto some say. I never understood why my parents fought over paying the bills or why they stopped loving each other. The day was August 23 of 2001 and I was about to learn that life is a giant rollercoaster ride.
I was 5 years old, turning 6 in December. When my mom and dad sat me down on the couch and my mom said “We need to have a serious talk.” I was very confused that is the first of many feelings I discovered that day. We sat on that couch for hours as I tried to wrap my small naïve head around the flurry of words. The words were coming at me like a cold blizzard, freezing my skin and body the more they spoke. My body unfroze when I heard the dreaded word escaped my dad’s thin lips. “We’re getting a divorce, Maegan. It’s not your fault, it’s just we don’t love each other anymore.”
Of course it hurt but in a way I never knew it would. Most my friends said they were happy about it, their parents getting divorced I mean. So I tried to act like it didn’t hurt that much. The first time I truly lied to myself. The pain was eating at me more and more. In till it made me almost choke. Then realized that I was in my mom’s arms, she was carrying me to my room. My face covered in unnoticed tears.
I didn’t come from my room for a while. When I did my mom had gone to work and my dad was trying to make me feel better by making my favorite dinner. When the divorcé was over my mom had custody of me and I only saw my dad every Tuesday and every other weekend. I missed him terribly. That is till he got remarried and started spending more time with his wife then me.
So my mom and I moved out here to beautiful Portland Oregon. I still see my dad 8 weeks out of the year. 6 weeks in the summer and maybe Christmas vacation. I’m 14 years old now and frankly my life is still a rollercoaster. Up and down all the time between family and friends and school. My point is when your life starts going downhill, even if you don’t understand, just go with the flow and believe that life will get better and it might get better.
If you enjoyed this essay, please consider making a tax-deductible contribution to This I Believe, Inc.