After all these years of school I think I have learned something. I believe I have learned who Breanna Marie Gourley really is. Going from getting pushed around to acting like someone I wasn’t then to finding true friends and the real me was completely worth it. I have learned from every mistake and attempt to remember not to make the same mistake again. But sometimes I forgot.
Pre-school and elementary went about the same except the girl I let boss me around changed. In pre-school the girl had to have everything her way! No ifs, ands, or buts! I let her walk all over me. We were “best of friends”! Then elementary started and 2nd grade was not fun. I liked hanging out with two different girls. The problem was… they didn’t care for each other. So picture this… a little 2nd grade girl torn between two girls. I had no idea what to do. It was a lose, lose situation. No matter who I hung out with the other one was not happy. Oh, and another key fact in this is I had little to no confidence at all. Then 3rd and 4th grade was a little better. I only had one of the two girls to worry about. This time though… I was a slave. I did everything this red head told me! I remember one time like it was yesterday. She asked me…no… more like ordered me to bend down and tie her shoe. The sad thing is… I did it, instantly!
Middle School went a little bit different. The big thing that changed was who my close friends were. I didn’t have the problem about being pushed around I just wouldn’t act like myself. I thought I had to be in the popular crowd. I tried to act like the four other girls I hung out with. I wanted to be just like them. I changed my thoughts and opinions to match up with theirs. Sometimes one of them would realize I wasn’t really acting myself so they would confront me and tell me it was okay to be me. I had been acting like them so much I pretty much brain washed myself to be identical to them. I didn’t realize I wasn’t being myself.
High School changed everything. Sophomore year I started hanging out with two girls and they are my true friends. I have learned I don’t need every person in the school to like me. I am very honest and straight forward now. Some things I say I probably should keep to myself. I have learned to be myself and if people don’t like who I really am, they can get over it. If they don’t like me I’m fine with it, because I probably don’t really care for them either! It’s irritating it took me this long to find myself, but I’m glad I finally did. I wish everyone could find themselves.
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