I have been an aspiring author, though a very doubtful one, for as long as I can remember. It’s a passion of mine that I rarely manifest and have increasingly kept to myself. There have been too many uninterested audiences, too many overestimated responses to my work. Yet, there have been a handful of memories that I cling to in order to keep my dream from fading.
My fourth grade teacher told me once that she would be first in line to my first book signing. There aren’t many quotes I remember, and none so early in my life. I don’t remember believing, as she did, that I could actually write a book, but I remember believing, wholeheartedly, that if I did, she would be there.
In seventh grade, I entered a writing contest in my school district. I wrote a story about love and death, and it won. I picked up my certificate in the library. The librarian told me, with a slight smile on her face, that they really liked my story. There probably weren’t many applicants, but I remembered those words also.
The curriculum for ninth grade English was mostly sentence structure and narrative, so one day in class we wrote and read aloud snapshots. After I read my description, all that my teacher said was, “Yes,” but he did it with an enthusiasm that convinced me he thought it was brilliant.
Since these brief moments, part of me wants to acknowledge these words as merely kind encouragement, not evidence of greatness to come. Even if they were all genuine, I am not in contact with any of these people anymore, so I cannot ask them what they would see in me now.
I think that is good. Maybe some things are best left unanswered. Even if my work is lousy, the spirit to move forward is instilled in me. It only takes one spark to light a fire, and although the wind is blowing and the sky looks like rain, there is still something to hold on to.
And so I believe in nurturing dreams, especially if it seems unlikely. Those that are easy to accomplish need little help. But if a long shot is met with rationale or common sense, it doesn’t even have the possibility of coming true.
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