This past week my Cousin’s best friend committed suicide and was found by his younger Brother. It is hard to believe that a person that we had opened our hearts and homes to was so despondent that he thought it was necessary to take his young life. We don’t know the reason for his decision to end his life, we don’t know what the last conversation he had with his Mom was like other than what she has mentioned. We don’t know why the home he lived in was trashed and pictures and other mementos were strewn about. We have more questions than answers and the questions will remain.
My Cousin is just starting to go through the normal 7 stages of grief of: Shock & denial; pain & guilt; anger & bargaining; depression/reflection/loneliness; the upward turn; reconstruction & working though; and finally acceptance & hope. We are trying to understand the why something such as this could happen to one that we thought part of the Family.
It is going to be a long and difficult time for my Cousin to cope with a devastating decision that his best Friend made and wonder if he could have been there for him more, if he should have seen the signs that this was going to occur and begin to wonder how he will be able to continue without his Friend there with him. He needs to understand that being angry with his Friend is normal and is okay.
We are providing as much support as possible for my Cousin and his Friend’s Family and have also ensured that he has access to grief counselors at school. He has been surprised by how many people at school have suppressed their condolences and knew about him and his Friend.
It is important for my Cousin and all of his Friends to know that there is support out there for all of them. Each one is loved and cared for and the decisions they make affect not only themselves but also others in their life. Each person is important and makes a ripple that touches another life and that life creates it’s own ripple that touches many others. Removing that ripple from the pond of life can have dramatic consequences and hurts more than just one person. It hurts many Families and many lives along that person’s ripple.
I can only hope that my Cousin realizes that he has just begun to make ripples in his pond and it touches many other lives and many more lives that he has not even had the opportunity meet yet.
I believe that life is precious and short and there is no need for anyone to make it any shorter. We all are very important in each other’s lives, our ripples may reach out only to those whom we know, but their ripples reach out further and further until they return and touch your life again.
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