Life in Focus

Jeffrey - Rexburg, Idaho
Entered on January 16, 2009

One day I was in football and wrestling and the next, I felt like I had the strength and constitution of a jello jiggler. When I sat down on a couch, it felt as if I was sinking into it and I wouldn’t stop but would somehow fall through it. After about 4 to 5 months of me being fatigued and lethargic my parents got worried. I had ITP again. ITP is a blood disorder in which your platelet cells are being killed by the spleen. Platelets control the clotting and healing of your body. Without the proper amount of platelets, one could hemorrhage internally at the slightest bit of contact or just bleed uncontrollably. In other words, your body is unable to heal itself. Now I had grown up with ITP and had many bouts in the past, but this time was different. This time I was older and could realize what was really going on. As a result of my illness, my view of life and what is most important changed. After all was said and done, I believe that the only things that are important are God and my family. I really don’t care about anything else in this world which is good but can also be bad.

I was at the end of eight grade when this most recent case hit. One very good side effect was that I missed my final exams. I actually didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t allow to attend school because my platelet count was severely low. A healthy person has about a 300,000 to 400,000 platelet count and at that it got so bad that I had under 3,000. The doctors wanted to take my spleen out but were worried that I would die on the operating table. There was a major concern of my brain hemorrhaging and thus I wasn’t allowed to do very much. I spent a lot of time reading and just hanging out in the house. When you are looking at life from the less healthy side of things, all the fodder seems to melt away. I remember praying in my room just asking God to let me stay with my Family, I wasn’t ready to leave them yet. At the tender age of 14, I was faced with the possibility of no longer being with my family on this earth. I would have little random break downs where I wasn’t sure what to do or how to cope. At these moments, I went to my room to gain composure of myself and counsel with the Lord. It was during these times of prayer and reflection that I received answers from God and my life came into focus. Everything was so clear.

If you have a stigmatism and use glasses, everything becomes more clean and clear. The glasses don’t create things that weren’t there, they just bring them into focus. I knew I loved my family and I knew I loved God, but this experience helped me bring that into focus. There is a saying that defines how I live my life, I don’t know who its from but here it is:

“Live well, Love much, and Laugh often”.