I choose…

Tam - Lacey, Washington
Entered on January 14, 2009
Age Group: Under 18

There are so many times I’m afraid of doing things that I want to accomplish. It’s just because I realize that I’m not able to do that, or I know my own efficiency. I just can’t. There are also couple times I am successful in things which I had thought I couldn’t do. And I wonder if I know my own abilities or I underestimate myself.

One day, my mother told me to write five things that I’m gratitude of and feel happy about every day. The very first day, I was so excited because that day was a good one but I only chose five specific things that had happened to me. And of course I was successful. I was so happy. The second day, third, fourth … on the fifth day, my mom realized that I haven’t been writing anything about my day. And she asked me: “have you been writing your journal?” I said: “yeah”. “So how come are you so sad?” “No, I’m not sad”. “Yes, you are. I know it. I’m the mom and mom knows everything. Don’t try to hide your feelings from me”. “Ok. My day was so bad and I couldn’t find a thing to be gratitude of. I tried so hard but…” and she taught me a lesson: “there is no try in this house. Just choose and can. And you can do what you choose to do”. At that time I thought that it was easy for her to say. I tried listening to her though. And I was totally wrong. She was right. I had chosen five things that I was gratitude of. I memorized all the things, big things to small ones, everything that happened to me and made me happy. I even found more than five. That was totally amazing. And I refer a lesson for my own: when I choose to accomplish something, I’ve aimed that goal. And I do the best of me to reach that goal and don’t care about my capacity any more, just go, go and go…I put my time, effort and even life into it. And when I can do that, I win no matter what the result is. Because I’ve beaten myself – my second person inside me which stops me from being successful.

Since then, whenever I’m nervous about something, I always talk to myself:” you can do it! You choose to do it no matter what.” And the truth is I’m successful.