Throughout my life there have been moments where I felt that I really could have been somebody. I can recall many situations where I have been pressured to step forward, to grab for the brass ring and show others who and what I can be. But I held back. My self confidence deserted me in those moments of need. I know I have disappointed people at times, but I thought, “At least I didn’t make a fool of myself and ruin my parent’s image of me.”
These moments of timidity stemmed from a life of trying to please others. I was always the one who made sure to be kind and nice to people, even when I didn’t want to. I was always the one who cared what other people thought about me even when I was told not to let it bother me. Even to this day I’m often like that. I make sure to let my parents know I love them and let my friends know I care about them. If I thought someone was upset, I’d ask them why, just to make sure it wasn’t about me. If my parents get mad at me I mope and sometimes it gets bad enough that I feel that they don’t care about me.
Lately though my protective shell has broken a little bit. Friends in high school have allowed me to spread my wings. Sure I still wonder what people think about me, but my friends have showed me it doesn’t matter so much. “Maybe I can let a little more of the real me show,” I muse. “I can believe in myself and know that even if some people think me odd, who cares?” I’ve learned that while my parents have always accepted me for who I really am, my friends will do the same thing if I just opened up a bit more.
I believe in myself.
I believe in the things I do, because no matter how large I think it makes a difference, I realize that it makes a very small impression. Even now as I write this essay, I am immersing myself in my words, making myself believe what they say. I know now that the parents, coaches, and friends who have always looked out for my best interests were right when they said I could go farther than before. I just needed some time to find it out for myself and gain some self confidence.
With this newfound knowledge I plan to make a better life for myself. Each day I plan to open up a little more of myself and find that everyone looks at me the same way. I am going to push myself to follow the guidance my life mentors have given me and become the best I can be in whatever I do. But most of all, I am going to take my own advice and become somebody to believe in. I will succeed. This I believe.
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